Part II was on Thursday when bro and I went swimming at 1p.m.!

A lethargic body to start with, not to mention upper body/arm aches from gym on Tuesday. Bro happily announced that he takes one day to recover, so he was all set to go gym and swim all in one day. No way!

So we went swimming, at 1p.m., on a day when the weather appeared to mirror that of the previous days - sunny in the late mornings, overcast after noon, cloudy/drizzly in the afternoons. Bro was lamenting about the dreary weather; he thrives on sunlight - totally walking in the light and under the influence of Paul's exhortations on physical training and discipline, I say!

So we hit the slightly stale, chlorinated pool after the initial shower rinse and stretches and warmed up further through lap swimming. It was a leisurely time, and surprisingly an easy one. Perhaps it's the momentum of exercise from swimming the previous week and gym on Tuesday, paving the way for improved stamina. Got a chance also, to put into practice what was realised on Tuesday, and work at my strokes for breaststroke, freestyle and even diving! Bro also tried out his butterfly strokes and demonstrated more of his 'high-flying, geyser-spouting" freestyle, to my amusement.

In the end, the weather turned out to be sunny (yay!) and the two hours of relishing in the pool slid by, with us oblivious to the glare and kiss of the sun leaving the evidence of its mark for all to witness.

The past two weeks have been a relief from work for me. I am taking the time off to fast and seek God yet again. Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, financelessness assaulting me all over again, especially in the first week of fasting.

Yet with the turn of the second week, I felt hope rising, stirring, in my sleep on Monday morning. A sentiment I hadn't experienced before in slumber. Brings to mind lyrics from Paul Baloche's Hosanna.

This thing about hope. A fragile feeling that can easily come and go, when the light at the end of the tunnel is not in sight, eluding, even excruciating in the extended times of waiting upon the Lord for His promises to come to pass. Fragile feeling? Or discouragement?

Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing [desire; NASB, ESV] fulfilled is a tree of life." (NIV)

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy." (NLT)

Or as the Message puts it in updated lingo, "Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around."

Whichever version speaks strongly to you; we all desire our longings to be fulfilled, to have our dreams come true, for that sudden good break that will turn our life around and have us soaring on eagles' wings with the Lord, as a sign of the end of a period of waiting on the Lord.

I've learnt to manage my expectations, in this season of waiting, of discovering my destiny. What with several of my dreams remaining an enigma, elusive, others seemingly crushed, the past week has been a welcoming balance - the expectancy that something is stirring, yet the wisdom to know that it will come in God's perfect timing and hence the unhurried but watchful stance.

It was in this posture that the Lord taught me an important lesson. That of training and endurance. If there was one word to describe my week, it would be TRAINING.

And it was serious training at that! I spent over two hours at the gym on Tuesday afternoon, being supervised and trained by the only personal trainer I would probably ever have (or afford, since FOC!) - my very own bro, back from school in London for his annual three-month break.

It was a gruelling session with loads of information to absorb as my bro easily offered them; breathing principles like breathe out upon exertion (but there are exceptions), breathe aloud and hard (for someone like me who doesn't breathe/enough when i exercise/sing), workout postures, and the likes. There's a whole lot more on muscle groups, usual workout routines, goal of the workout session, etc, that I won't bore you with. But I found myself saying, "Cannot, I cannot do it." A LOT! No wonder people say that the true self emerges during games and sports/competitions!

And it was really tough, even with the minimal weights on some and heavier than usual ones on others where my bro was really pushing me, to check that my posture was right, my focus was on that particular muscle that I was working on, I was inhaling and exhaling properly and regularly, AND counting the reps that i was doing all at the same time! And this not being the first time doing weights training; I had developed a habit of going to the gym since college days because of volleyball training and maniac friends who ran 10km every other day, plus ACJC has such splendid gym facilities! This carried on when I started work in Ministry of Law and had free use of the gym at Treasury building on Hill Street.

As I was saying, I was conscientious initially, trying to take in everything and do it properly, but halfway through, my bro knew I was losing it and merely doing it because he was asking me to. Free-weights training brought a bit of joy back to the whole process because the weights were more manageable for me. But when we were cooling down with crunches and leg raises, that was it - I just stopped trying, almost to the point of an intention to silence my bro with one eyes-enlarging, killer look.

It was at this point, as I sulked and quietened down, while my bro continued his rigorous regime of crunches and leg/body raises, that God opened my eyes to my low level of endurance and perseverance to work at something and see it through. Certainly brings to life and application Paul's famous analogy on beating one's body to win the prize for Jesus.

A disconcerting afternoon and a sombre realisation at the end of it. Also the first signs of maturity in my relationship with my bro, as I walk and see past the adoration and hero worship of him, to a deeper understanding and knowing of him, and to working out differences through the willingness to see each other's perspectives.

This song has been popping up in my life again lately.

The origins of this song for me? Started in October 2004 when I was learning songs for my 3-week music missions tour in New England with the Continental Singers. Ruth passed me Rachael Lampa's Kaleidoscope album upon seeing the song list for my tour. I was very moved by the song and its words, not to mention Rachael Lampa's delicious vocals. And as God would have it, I was allocated the solo for this song on the tour and in spite of my insecurities and inabilities in hitting those high, sustained notes (the song was sung a semitone higher than original key) and a bad throat, my tour mates were encouraging and felt that God was using me each time to minister through that beautiful song.

More recently, Dorothy asked me early this year if I knew of any suitable songs for Easter and I recommended No Greater Love, by Rachael Lampa from her third album, Kaleidoscope. She later shared that she was moved by the song and choreographed a dance for it in 30 minutes. I saw the dance at their practice and felt she captured the essence of the song well.

Von, Ruth and I also sang this song during our worship cum singing session (reminiscing the songs we used to sing together) in Perth. I had shared this song with Von after the US trip.

Been also meditating on Isaiah, as part of the allocated readings for facilitators for women's BTW, and God is just opening my eyes and heart to the wonder of Him being the Alpha, the Beginning, where the former things were/began.

Is 41:22 ".. Tell us the former things, what they are, that we may consider them, that we may know their outcome; or declare to us the things to come."

Is 42:9 "Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them."

Is 43:9 ".. who among them [Israel's idols] can declare this, and show us the former things?"

Is 43:18-19 "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Is 46:8-9 "Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God and there is no other; I am God and there is none like me.

Is 48:3 "The former things I declared of old; they went out from my mouth and I announced them; then suddenly I did them and they came to pass."

Is 44:6 "Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: 'I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god. Who is like me? Let him proclaim it. Let him declare what is to come, and what will happen. Fear not, nor be afraid; have I not told you from of old and declared it? And you are my witnesses! Is there a God besides me? There is no Rock; I know not any.'"

Is 48:12-17 "Listen to me, O Jacob, and Israel, whom I called! I am he; I am the first and I am the last. My hand laid the foundation of the earth, and my right hand spread out the heavens; when I call to them, they stand forth together. Assemble, all of you, and listen! Who among them has declared these things? The Lord loves him; he shall perform his purpose on Babylon, and his arm shall be against the Chaldeans. I, even I, have spoken and called him; I have brought him, and he will prosper in his way. Draw near to me, hear this: 'from the beginning I have not spoken in secret, from the time it came to be I have been there.' And now the Lord God has sent me, and his Spirit.

And God reminded me of the words to the verse of No Greater Love again.

That intimate knitting and creating of me in my mother's womb.
Of each one of us.

Way before I was even created, God knew me.
God knew you.

I am already I am.
You are already You are.

NO GREATER LOVE
Rachael Lampa
[uploaded under Personal Favs of My Music]

Before I knew Your Name,
You knew my ev’ry breath.
Before I found my way,
You knew my ev’ry step.
Before I knew everything that I need,
You gave it all to me.

No greater love than this…
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me;
I’d spend a lifetime wondering why.
The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love than this.

I never understood
How merciful Love could be,
Until I felt His Flame
Light every part of me
And I would give everything that I am
’ Cause I have been saved;
Yes, I have been saved!

No greater love than this…
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me;
I’d spend a lifetime wondering why.
The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love.

Oh, oh oh, oh oh, woah…

The Beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love...
For someone such as me.
No greater love...than this.

Wanna share this devotional from Streams In The Desert that portrays God's display of love even in life's silences.

My heart is quieted.

-----------------------------------------------------------
"Jesus did not answer a word." Matthew 15:23

"He will quiet you with his love." Zephaniah 3:17

Are you reading these verses as a child of God who is experiencing a crushing sorrow, a bitter disappointment, or a heartbreaking blow from a totally unexpected place? Are you longing to hear your Master's voice calling you, saying, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid" (Matt 14:27)? Yet only silence, the unknown, and misery confront you - "Jesus did not answer a word."

God's tender heart must often ache listening to our sad, complaining cries. Our weak, impatient hearts cry out because we fail to see through our tear-blinded, shortsighted eyes that it is for our own sakes that He does not answer at all or that He answers in a way we believe is less than the best. In fact, the silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His words and may be a sign not of His disapproval but of His approval and His way of providing a deeper blessing for you.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?... I will yet praise him" (Ps 43:5). Yes, praise Him even for His silence. Let me relate a beautiful old story of how one Christian dreamed she saw three other women in prayer.

When they knelt the Master drew near to them. As He approached the first of the three, He bent over her with tenderness and grace. He smiled with radiant love and spoke to her in tones of pure, sweet music. Upon leaving her, He came to the next but only placed His hand upon her bowed head and gave her one look of loving approval. He passed the third woman almost abruptly, without stopping for a word or a glance.

The woman having the dream said to herself, "How greatly He must love the first woman. The second gained His approval but did not experience the special demonstrations of love He gave the first. But the third woman must have grieved Him deeply, for He gave her no word at all, nor even a passing look."

She wondered what the third woman must have done to have been treated so differently. As she tried to account for the actions of her Lord, He Himself came and stood beside her. He said to her, "O woman! How wrongly you have interpreted Me! The first kneeling woman needs the full measure of My tenderness and care to keep her feet on My narrow way. She needs My love, thoughts and hep every moment of the day, for without them she would stumble into failure.

"The second woman has stronger faith and deeper love than the first, and I can count on her to trust Me no matter how things may go or whatever people may do. Yet the third woman, whom I seemed not to notice, and even to neglect, has faith and love of the purest quality. I am training her through quick and drastic ways for the highest and holiest service.

"She knows Me so intimately, and trusts Me so completely, that she no longer depends on My voice, loving glances, or other outward signs to know of My approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts Me when common sense, reason and even every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity, and realising that the understanding of what I do will come later.

"My love is silent because I love beyond the power of words to express it and beyond the understanding of the human heart. Also, it is silent for your sakes - that you may learn to love and trust Me with pure, Spirit-taught, spontaneous responses. I desire for your response to My love to be without the prompting of anything external."

He "will do wonders never before done" (Ex 34:10) if you will learn the mystery of His silence and praise Him every time He withdraws His gifts from you. Through this you will better know and love the Giver.

Go Fest rehearsal tonight left me feeling pensive. As Mikey's Mommy dropped me off at my gate, I was prompted to look above. And I was suddenly struck by twinkling stars that lit the dark sky above. So many of them. Sounds cliche to be gushing about stars? Yea, I think so too.

But the gentle night wind and the sky above left me wanting to linger around some more... and I did something I haven't done in goodness knows how long ago.. never? I opened my balcony door on the second storey of my parents' semi-D and sat right in the centre. To think that there can be stars right in front of me, without looking upwards! They seem so near, so bright, so alive. And I did the most natural yet impossible thing - count the stars! Or attempted to. As I started pairing them off to count, more stars 'pop up' and became more visible to my naked eye. It didn't take me long to give up counting! And to 'realise' as I count, the reality of how numerous the stars are in the sky. How God mustn't have been kidding when He told Abraham that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky.. if only he could count them!

There was a comforting peace as I sat there, in the silence of the night under the starlit sky feeling the cool breeze on my face and feet. All the questions I had about why God is so silent in my life faded into the background.

The song that expresses what God has been saying to me.
The song that Pat and I sang as an offertory for Mother's Day today.
The song that blessed my heart and I hope it blesses you too!

Check out the mp3 recording of the offertory during second service on DC's site HERE

Also check out Track 07 of the soundtrack from the musical, All Heaven Rejoices, which we did an excerpt for Easter. That's where Trust His Heart came from!

TRUST HIS HEART

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can't see how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just can't see him
Remember, you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hand
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry, He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him

Bridge:
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you...

Was preparing for CG bible study this past Friday on Colossians 1:24-25, and the topic of suffering came up. I typed out some notes on what we can learn about suffering from the book of Job, and thought I'd share it here too.

There's both the physical and emotional aspect of suffering; and I would think the most common view people (both Christians and non-Christians) hold on suffering is that it's a result of sin (principle #3).

I personally experienced this in my life when I walked into a drain and broke a bone on my left foot, last May. That was one week into my fasting at that time, so I was alert to the possible spiritual implications surrounding my disability (yes, I was on crutches for 3 months). One evening, my mom said grace over dinner and in her prayer, she asked God to reveal the sin in me that led to this incident and the gross inconvenience of it all.

I was just stunned. And very hurt. What followed, was more fasting and crying out to God, to reveal if there was indeed sin in my life that caused my disabilitiy even though I didn't think that was the case.

I wouldn't say my physical suffering at that time was for the sake of the church, but God was indeed doing some deep work in me through the physical pain and inconvenience. I also experienced a suffering that goes beyond the pain. Hard to believe, since the pain was enough to unleash my tearducts for the night. But I did feel condemned. Judged. Misunderstood. For the journey that God was bringing me through and the spiritual significance of my crippled state.

But God did answer me. He said I was clean, through a vision that my fellow MG mate had when we were all praying. And so I'm thankful.

May God meet you in your suffering, and may His joy be overflowing in your life!

What Job Teaches about Suffering
The problem of pain and the book of Job
By Philip Yancey and Tim Stafford from the New Student Bible

“But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction.” Job 36:15

“Why me?” Almost everyone asks this question when terrible suffering strikes. An automobile accident, a diagnosis of cancer, a long-term disease like arthritis – each of these raises intense questions about why God allows pain.

Over the centuries, suffering Christians have gained help and comfort from studying the book of Job. The book gives no compact theory of why good people suffer. Nevertheless, the following insights into the problem of suffering do come out of the book of Job.

Principles from Job

1. Some suffering is caused by Satan. Chapters 1 and 2 make the important distinction that God did not cause Job’s problems. He allowed them, but Satan actually caused the pain.

2. God is all-powerful and good. Nowhere does the book of Job suggest that God lacks power or goodness. Some people say that God is weak and powerless to prevent human suffering. Others, called deists, assume he runs the world at a distance, without personal involvement. But in Job, God’s power is never questioned; only his fairness. And in his final summation speech, God used splendid illustrations from nature to prove his power.

3. Suffering doesn’t always come as a result of sin. The Bible supports the general principle that “a man reaps what he sows,” even in this life (Gal 6:7; see Psalms 1:3; 37:25). But other people have no right to apply that general principle to a particular person. Job’s friends tried with all their persuasive power. However, when God rendered the final verdict, he said simply, “You have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.” (42:7). The OT includes other examples of people who suffered through no fault of their own, such as Abel (Gen 4) and Uriah (2 Sam 11). And Jesus spoke out against the notion that suffering implies sin (see John 9:1-5 and Luke 13:1-5).

4. God will reward and punish fairly in a final judgement after death. Job’s friends, along with most OT folk, did not have a clearly formed belief in an afterlife. Therefore, they expected that God’s fairness – his approval or disapproval of people – had to be shown in this life. Other parts of the Bible teach that God will reward and punish fairly after death.

5. God does not condemn doubt and despair. God did not condemn Job’s anguished responses, only his ignorance. Job did not take his pain meekly; he cried out in anguish to God. His strong remarks scandalized his friends (see, for e.g., 15:1-16), but not God. Ironically, despite his bitter speeches, Job earned God’s praise, while his pious friends were soundly rebuked.

6. No one person has all the facts about suffering. Neither Job nor his friends had enough facts. Job concluded God was unfair, treating him like an enemy. His friends maintained that God opposed Job because of his sin. All of them later learned they had been viewing the situation from a very limited perspective, blind to the real struggle being waged in heaven.

7. God is never totally silent. Elihu made that point convincingly, reminding Job of dreams, visions, past blessings, even the daily works of God in nature (Chapter 33). God also appealed to nature as giving evidence of his wisdom and power. Although he may seem silent, some evidence of him can be found. One contemporary author expressed that truth this way, “Remember in the darkness what you have learned in the light.”

8. Well-intentioned advice can sometimes do more harm than good. Job’s friends were classic examples of people who let their pride and sense of being right interfere with their compassion. They repeated pious phrases and argued theology with Job. His response: “If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom” (13:5)

9. God asks for faith. God refocused the central issue from the cause of Job’s suffering to his response. Mysteriously, God never gave an explanation for the problem of suffering. He did not even inform Job of the reason behind it: the contest recorded in chapters 1 and 2. He concentrated instead on Job’s response. The real issue at stake was Job’s faith – whether he would continue to trust God even when everything went wrong.

10. Suffering can be used for a higher good. In Job’s case, God used a time of very great pain to win an important, even cosmic, victory over Satan. Looking backward, but only looking backward, we can see the “advantage” Job gained by continuing to trust God. Job is often cited as an OT picture of Jesus Christ, who lived a perfectly innocent life but endured great pain and death. The terrible event of Christ’s death was also transformed into a great victory.

Thousands of years later, Job’s questions have not gone away. People who suffer still find themselves borrowing Job’s own words as they cry out against God’s seeming lack of concern. But Job affirms that God is not deaf to our cries and is in control of this world no matter how it looks. God did not answer all Job’s questions, but his very appearance caused Job’s doubts to melt away. Job learned that God cared about him and that God rules the world. It was enough.

I wrote a song today! In between piano lessons at that.

Both mellowdee and liliks ah... gosh i must have been taken over by the spirit to have written both together in such a short time - the fruit of my fasting today.

Actually, the contents of it belie the joy expressed here. But I don't think it's as painful or intense as the two songs I wrote when I was 19. Rather, it's very introspective and a result of an increasing longing.

I shan't disclose the contents here though. Will work on it further, and hopefully an original arrangement for Upbeat is in the making! Perhaps, my dream of recording my own album and having a concert is not so far-fetched after all

All glory and creativity and honour be to God, my Father!

I find myself going back to examine where I last left off, when I was so sure of what God is calling me to do. Revisiting my theme song for 2005 (refer to blog entry dated Feb 15 2006) was quite a quiet downer, especially after the realisation that I've allowed myself to be swayed left and right by different voices, noises and choices.

Where was my single-minded focus on God? Where was my resolve to be sold out for Christ, a quiet but firm resolve I once made whilst standing in the middle of the strong waves in Sri Lankan waters? To be a fool for Him even if it means the journey I'm on is a lonesome one and I might be widely misunderstood?

Frankly, I don't know how to respond to questions like "what next" or "how are you". Even more so because this wilderness journey I'm on is foreign to many, perhaps new, or personal to each one, however God leads, yet there is danger in isolating oneself without accountability from the community/body of Christ. Which is a key concern among CG leaders for their flock. Perhaps its my uncommunicative side being heightened in the midst of greater uncertainty and doubts, thus the reclusive tendency is increased as well.

But one thing is certain: I need to get back to my roots. Notwithstanding ministry and service which I have been feeling ineffective in, I've reached the conclusion that in order for me to remain rooted, I need to dig deeper and build my foundation in God's word. I've come to a plateau in my personal devotions, not having the ability to delve deeper in the Word. Perhaps it's correlated to my prayer life. But I believe it's for the better. As one matures, to find the keys to unlock the treasures for the next phase, to discover what else (what other sin/unsurrenderedness) is inhibiting progress and intimacy with God.

And undergirding the spiritual realm, is very much the physical realm. How we discipline ourselves physically does have an effect on our spiritual growth. With each valley and mountain I descend and climb up, I get one constant message - to clean up and order my physical life!

So there, I begin my spring cleaning. From my ever-messy room (yes, again, left half-cleaned from the last time), to my dietary habits, to my daily routine, to all there is to order.

As for delving deeper in the Word? There's one thing on my mind to do. Will share more when there's clarity

Black silence creeping up on white
Helpless rendering of the night
Locust swarms desolating fields
Utter destruction of harvest yields

By the sword, famine and plague
A curse is called down like flake
In anger, wrath and jealousy
The husband pronounces adultery

What to say of his harsh judgement
That left naught an altar unturned
Of every thought, deed and attitude
He demands kingship altitude

To exile each abomination
Three generations' culmination
Of disobedience and non-compliance
The continuation of illicit dalliance

But great is he who banished
The multitude of sins vanished
Is anything too hard for him?
Doth he go out on a limb?

To save, deliver and heal
Every hurt and pain you feel
To gather those exiled to safety
Abandoning all worship of deity

A promise of restoration
To you who's in desperation
Redeemed and renamed as Beloved
More precious than gold, one doth covet

A reversal of fortunes, he bestow
With love, prosperity and peace in tow
A singleness of heart and action, he asks
To obey and follow him, he tasks

Can all darkness turn into light?
Can I be that light in the night?
Who's to stop the tainting of the white?
When doubts and questions assail the fight?

Alas, he watches by the side
His aide ever close by, reside
When you yield to his gentle voice
Come what may he'll make good your choice

So arise my love, my darling
Fear not sin's hold, unrelenting
For my grace will be enough
To keep and to hold you tough

Take on the impossible
Shrug off the implausible
Renounce the insidious curse
Its effects will be reversed

Go forth in abundant blessing
My promise to you in testing
Put on your rightful armour
The rest will burn in karma!

Inspired through the book of Jeremiah

This was one of those 'AHA!' moments that Ps Ann spoke about in her message yesterday.

I was walking along the streets of Orchard Road one Friday before CG last year, thinking about a word to share at CG but not particularly hard pressed or stressed about it. And my mind was left free to run and I was remembering those times back in MinLaw days where I'd play pool with my good friend, colleague and pool buddy at least once every week! How we got so into this game, into improving and bettering ourselves; how with one accord and in implicit tendem, we weren't interested to vie and compete with each other but remained wholly focused on that same goal - to grow in skill and ability to manoeuvre angles and tackle the difficult shots! And while we were at it, we had so much fun digging at each other, goading each other in an encouraging way, dishing out those serious one-liners at each other in between shots! What we had going together was amazing and I can only thank God for those times that I miss dearly.

And while I was reminiscing about this, God brought scripture to mind, of a passage I memorised during my first mission trip to Korat, Thailand, to illustrate a point.

Philippians 2:1-2 (NASB)
1Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,

2make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

I got a glimpse of that joy of being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose described in Philippians 2:2 with my friend when we played pool. And the awesome thing is that this happened even when she isn't a believer. What more, with believers who are likeminded; the context of verse 2 as set in the preceding verse. I was so excited when I saw what God was saying here! My first distinctly AHA! moment

Children are fascinating! They are the very reflection of people in the purest, unfiltered form.

Having just come from Mandy's birthday party with half a dozen other kids playing and filling the living room of the Lows, I had the opportunity present before me to observe 'em children and their parents. I must qualify though, observing as a bystander versus being a parent are often two separate things, although I do believe they are not mutually exclusive because we have God on our side. Phew!

There was a somewhat traumatic episode that happened. That of two huge birthday balloons bursting in the hands of this little active and attention-seeking boy, one shortly after the other. Of course, those of us adults who were afraid of balloons were already expecting that to happen, although that didn't seem to diminish the bursts of startle upon the actualisation of it all. It was interesting too, to note the reactions of the parents of this boy in relation to the boy himself. Not to mention my own reaction - that of silently taking it all in in a seemingly, outwardly calm and composed state, covering my mildly anxious heart to a certain extent. Not from the balloon burst though.

I was surprised that the parents' first and primary reaction was somewhat chiding, perhaps jokingly, that it seemed to be the boy's fault (rough playing) for causing the balloons to burst. And this seemed to be the pattern of parenting/relating to the boy as with other instances of 'misbehaviour/disturbance' the boy created. I'm not sure I read the parents' reactions accurately, since I just met them. The poor boy was shaken for a while, then swung back to play with other balloons until the second time it happened. Then he stayed away from the balloons.

I thought it was quite traumatic for the boy, especially when his face revealed his dejected spirit and he needed to stay securedly embraced in the arms of his father for a while to recover from this experience. And while I do agree that it is a small incident, I also think that the behavioural vibes/norms this boy receive & observe from his parents starting from the smallest things define his own behaviours and reactions. And I know you'll say, "yes yes, that is obvious!" And you and I wonder why I'm writing all these? To show that I know these things? To seek your approval and recognition that I know and observe all these things? Precisely. Do you see how easy it is to fall into this cycle of seeking men's approval and affirmation? And thus leading some of us to withdraw in making comments, relating to others, etc. for fear of rejection, looking/sounding stupid/uncool, etc.

I started out saying, "Children are fascinating! They are the very reflection of people in the purest, unfiltered form." And indeed they are! If we have eyes that see the good in them. If we have eyes that see through their souls. If we have ears that hear the workings of their emotions and what they are feeling in response to any situation. If we have mouths that soothe, comfort, heal and speak forth truth in love. They would not just be a reflection of their parents, but could become babes of Christ, pointing all to the love and compassion of our Father in heaven. If we would treasure and invest in our young, recognising their potential to make an impact for Christ even in their infancy/youth!

If you have been at the receiving end of precious moments; when a child shuffles up to you from nowhere, simply hands you a balloon and smiles impishly, when a child puts his arms around you to kiss and cuddle, when a child remembers you in prayer, when a child looks dolefully at you in wide-eyed innocence and then burst out in uncontrolled giggles, when a child just wants you to hold his hand. You would know what I'm talking about. And that is just a glimpse of it.

Christ Himself had a special place in His heart for children. Imagine His indignance at those [his disciples!] who do not share His heart for children!

Mark 10:13-16
13People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." 16And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

And the reason why I'm actually logging in this entry when it's unintended? I was suddenly reminded of this boy and the HS led me to pray and intercede for his spirit. Praise God for caring for the little children! Indeed He clothes even the lilies in the field and feeds the birds of the eye. What more His chosen ones, His children.